Most of the time when people find out we have an AuPair they comment that they would not be able to have another person or a 'stranger' live in their home. The comment has never made sense to me.
During the matching process, you learn about different AuPairs through detailed essays and pictures. Where are they from? How many brothers and sisters do they have? Have they ever lived away from home? Religious background. Driving ability. Why do they want to be an AuPair?
When you begin this process, you usually set-up personal criteria that are important to you. For Dan and I, we wanted an older AuPair (23 or 24), who was a competent driver and spoke excellent English. As we started our interviews, we met Melissa who was 19 (!), did not really drive and whose English was rudimentary at best. I knew she was the right fit for our family because of her laugh. I wish I could be more precise, but there was a infectious and gentle element to her laugh that quieted my practical concerns ane let me know she was the one.
By the time Melissa arrived, we did not feel like she was stranger. Not at all. More like we were welcoming home a relative we had not seen in long time. The kids were very excited and helped to make a Welcome Melissa sign that still hangs in her room. We embraced and started the transition process to incorporate Melissa into our family.
After almost two years, Melissa left us today to lay down roots for her own family. As she leaned against the kitchen wall waiting to leave, I lost my breath for a moment and was filled with sadness. I believe it was a glimpse at the maternal sadness you feel when a child moves to the next stage of their life.
Maybe having an AuPair is not for everyone. Opening your home and life to another person makes you feel vulnerable. As for us, we never had a stranger in our home. Only another daughter who we love and wish the very best.
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